Is Living Vicariously Through Your Child Really Wrong?

"While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about."
~Angela Schwindt

My idea of fun has completely changed. Actually, many of my ideas have changed these days. I can't believe I am the same person and have to pinch myself in the mirror sometimes. I am utterly and totally a mother. A rookie mother, no less, but purely a mother. It's 9pm on a Saturday night and I am blogging about my overwhelming feelings and thoughts of being a mother, how much I adore it and how much it has changed me. And this is my idea of a good time now. I spent the entire day with my little guy and we had so much fun. Fun like I have never had before. Fun that provides a huge perma-grin. Fun that runs so deep and the memories will never fade. Hell, that I have memories at all is a giant step.

The last 34 years of my life were spent with many a disjointed memory. Now, I want to take them all in and never forget them. They are in abundance. Everday is a new day with new things to be learned and discovered. I feel like I am a kid again and the joy it brings me to watch my little guy be intrigued and challenged and have so much fun is beyond words. I have heard of the nightmare parents who try to live through their children, push them to accomplish things they never got to do and just pressure them in to doing things they would otherwise not choose. I don't want to be that parent, but I am living vicariously through Max's eyes these days. Is it so wrong? I am seeing life in a new set of eyes and trying to experience with him. Every day is a new adventure because life is so full of things he has yet to do, see, feel or experience. Taking him to parks, zoos and just playing a new game is what it's all about.

I am learning so much about life and myself these days. It is extremely gratifying and such a blessing. Often, when I do actually get out among my friends, I get a great deal of crap if I am not whooping it up. I tend not to drink much anymore as I cherish my Saturday's and Sunday's and can't stand being hung over. Those days are my quality days with Max. I get 2 full days a week to spend with him and I want to enjoy and be ready for anything at any minute. It's what really matters to me, it's what rejuvinates me and motivates me, it's simply my life. So when I am told that I am no fun any more or when attempts are made to pressure me into drinking in excess, I am learning to just stand my ground. Been there, done that for 34 years man. I am on a new path in life. I chose to party and be carefree for many years and it was indeed purposefully. I wanted to be absolutely ready to be focused as a parent. And now I am here and I couldn't be more happy. I am 100% focused and loving every minute of it. Max has made me young all over again and I am completely inspired and blessed abundantly.