Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Are Big Changes Heading This Way?

"They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom." ~Confucius

I am geared up for 2010.  Like all good resolutioners, I have vowed to make some personal changes to go along with all the major life changes in store.  We are embarking on our first build.  This will also be our last.  That last statement is what keeps me in a constant state of worry.  I am building the home that I will "die in" (if I am lucky enough to die in the actual home and preferably in my sleep).  It is a great deal of pressure, but I have to find a way to get over that mental block and embrace the wonderful experience it can be.  I can hear you all saying..."wonderful experience...ya right"!  I have been told that if your marriage can survive building a home, you can survive anything.  That also keeps me in a perpetual state of worry. 

We are also planning on adding to our family this year.  There is no real strategy for this other than the good old fashion way of letting it happen in it's own time.  To be quite honest, I have never been one to stay on top of my irregular female schedule and I am not really in touch with my body like most women are.  I am just mentally resistent to planning the whole cycle and counting days thing.  It's just not my style.  That is not to say that I wouldn't do it if the time came where we were getting antsy about it and things seem to be taking longer than we would like.  I just don't like to rush nature and I don't like to plan sex.  It totally kills the mood.  Totally.  I don't want to treat sex like a job, you know?  But I will keep you posted on that front in case that changes.  It's easy to talk like that when you are not feeling any pressure...I know.

My baby will be turning 2 in 2010!  It's hard to believe and it's even harder to imagine how fast the coming years will pass.  He greets me every morning with his sunny disposition and he is such a joy to be around.  He is a goofy little guy and has a really mature sense of humor already.  I forget that I am dealing with a toddler sometimes.  He is extremely polite as he says "Please" and "Thank you" without being prompted and at the correct times.  He is a little love bug and he likes to cuddle and give kisses and hugs of his own free will...that just melts my heart to it's core.  He is a bright little boy with a great deal of personality.  He has been signing his ABC's for a while now (since he was 16-17 months) and has also been singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in full for just as long.  He loves music and really sings in tune.  It's kind of amazing actually.  He is a very eager and helpful little guy as well.  But I know that that will change...along with his personality a bit.  He is also very strong willed and has been trying to be independent for a while now.  These changes that are a comin' do scare me just a bit.  I feel like we have just been experiencing the calm before the storm!  But we have no words to express how great it has all been.

I am attempting to also "clean house" internally on many levels.  Breaking some bad habits and taking charge of my health are my top priorities.  I am trying to renew my mind and spirit every day for these changes/battles ahead.  It is daunting but I feel very confident and strong in my objectives.  There are many things that I have always believed and I am now putting them in to action.  I look forward to how life will evolve this year.  I feel like I am about to embark on some of the biggest yet most rewarding challenges of my life...all in one year.  I am sure that this post will serve as a great touchstone to come back to on occasion and remind myself of all my optimism and confidence.  And I am sure at some juncture this year, it will be laughable...like crazed laughter that plagues your head...and your head only.   Onward!


  1. Why does this have to be the last home you ever live in? I'm your age, and I'm on my third home. It happens! Houses are like songs - sometimes they're big and grand, and sometimes they're small and sweet. All are good, as long as you fill them with love. So don't put so much pressure on yourself to build the house to end all houses - because you can't.

    Rob O

  2. I couldn't agree more Rob...regarding the pressure and filling the home with love. But since we are building on the Hawkins farmland, Jeff is inclined to stay on the homestead and not sell at any point. And I get that. Don't worry, my home won't be grand...it's so not my style. I just want multi-functional, practical, homey spaces with good quality to last my lifetime.