Is Living Vicariously Through Your Child Really Wrong?

"While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about."
~Angela Schwindt

My idea of fun has completely changed. Actually, many of my ideas have changed these days. I can't believe I am the same person and have to pinch myself in the mirror sometimes. I am utterly and totally a mother. A rookie mother, no less, but purely a mother. It's 9pm on a Saturday night and I am blogging about my overwhelming feelings and thoughts of being a mother, how much I adore it and how much it has changed me. And this is my idea of a good time now. I spent the entire day with my little guy and we had so much fun. Fun like I have never had before. Fun that provides a huge perma-grin. Fun that runs so deep and the memories will never fade. Hell, that I have memories at all is a giant step.

The last 34 years of my life were spent with many a disjointed memory. Now, I want to take them all in and never forget them. They are in abundance. Everday is a new day with new things to be learned and discovered. I feel like I am a kid again and the joy it brings me to watch my little guy be intrigued and challenged and have so much fun is beyond words. I have heard of the nightmare parents who try to live through their children, push them to accomplish things they never got to do and just pressure them in to doing things they would otherwise not choose. I don't want to be that parent, but I am living vicariously through Max's eyes these days. Is it so wrong? I am seeing life in a new set of eyes and trying to experience with him. Every day is a new adventure because life is so full of things he has yet to do, see, feel or experience. Taking him to parks, zoos and just playing a new game is what it's all about.

I am learning so much about life and myself these days. It is extremely gratifying and such a blessing. Often, when I do actually get out among my friends, I get a great deal of crap if I am not whooping it up. I tend not to drink much anymore as I cherish my Saturday's and Sunday's and can't stand being hung over. Those days are my quality days with Max. I get 2 full days a week to spend with him and I want to enjoy and be ready for anything at any minute. It's what really matters to me, it's what rejuvinates me and motivates me, it's simply my life. So when I am told that I am no fun any more or when attempts are made to pressure me into drinking in excess, I am learning to just stand my ground. Been there, done that for 34 years man. I am on a new path in life. I chose to party and be carefree for many years and it was indeed purposefully. I wanted to be absolutely ready to be focused as a parent. And now I am here and I couldn't be more happy. I am 100% focused and loving every minute of it. Max has made me young all over again and I am completely inspired and blessed abundantly.

Or Should We All Be Thankful For Toilets?

Honestly, I don't have much to say on this cause this time a picture truly is worth a thousand words. This is a typical toliet in Mali, Africa and I imagine many parts of the world over.

This little beauty was quite something to embrace. Let's keep in mind that there is no toilet paper. We had to use these brightly colored plastic water cans to "clean up" after a drop off. And it's customary to wipe the remains with your left hand. This is why it is a complete insult to offer or use your left hand for anything. It's the shit hand literally.

While I did adopt the first portion on the bathroom customs on my visit, I did not get a grasp on the latter so I just didn't fully acclimate to my scene. It makes complete sense to shit standing up and let gravity do it's job, but let me tell you, it is something to get used to. It's really not natural at all. You place your feet on both sides of the hole on those purposeful blocks and you stand and commence. Now your natural reaction is to squat, but you really don't want to squat down over that hole. The waft is like nothing you have ever smelt before. Good news is, you get used to it in a short period of time!

So, the next time you think your life is so bad, come on back to this page and take a look at how most people around the world are living. Then thank your lucky stars!

Learning Life Lessons Through Travel

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was just reflecting on my life this weekend and thinking how blessed I have been to have traveled to so many wonderful places in the world. I wish I could say that these reflections started so altruistically. It started as I was making my "To Do" list of places I need to go to before I die and started to have a pity party for myself because I haven't been to some of the places I feel I desperately need to go. And as I was ticking off my dream list, it dawned on me that I have been to some really amazing places and have been fortunate to have experienced, learned, observed and shared in so many enriching things. So stop being such a whiner....

The trip that had the most impact on my life forever was my trip to Mali, Africa. My little sis Carrie volunteered for the Peace Corps and spent 2 1/2 years there. Knowing that we would never get this kind of opportunity in our lives again, we jumped at planning this trip. After what felt like a couple hundred shots, lots of preparation, and stuffing large bags full of goods for Carrie's village family and friends, we were off for this unbelievable adventure.

"A traveler without observation is a bird without wings." - Saadi

I could go on and on and on for days about the impact of this trip, but for the purpose of this entry, the most valuable lesson I reflect on daily is that I am so thankful for everything I have and I appreciate it all. I work hard to be mindful of the simple things on a daily basis. From the fact that I live in a tiny little house with heat and don't have to watch my baby suffer and die in front of my eyes to the blessing of a toilet that flushes and toilet paper. Honestly, I try so hard to live simple and not waste anything. I put effort into recycling everything possible, not using plastic excessively, carrying a reusable bag for shopping at all times, not running the water while brushing my teeth, not throwing out food, showering every other day, giving of myself and anything I can to those in need, stopping to appreciate all of my blessings and thanking God for them and the list goes on. I am constantly aware of these types of things now and trying to incorporate them in my lifestyle as much as possible.

We are such a wasteful society and so many people don't even realize how blessed they truly are. I get so frustrated with this rampant attitude of entitlement. Why do people expect to have so much when they do so little? They should fall on their knees and thank God they were born into the families and places they are because it was just a sheer matter of luck. They could have easily been those precious kids I met in Mali.

The people I met in Mali were such poignant examples of how God wants us to be. They gave us so much and have so little. They were so welcoming to us and Carrie's family gave us all our own Mailian names and their last name which is such an honor. They were so concerned about the well-being and comfort of a bunch of complete strangers who could not speak their language. They feed us like kings when they barely eat any sustainance on a daily basis. They entertained us and had a dance in our honor, as if it was some celebration. The children flocked to us and just wanted to be around us. This is just a few of the examples of how completely selfless and Godly these people are. We could all learn so many things from them.

As Anne Frank has said: "No one has ever become poor by giving." We need to heed these words, as I have found giving makes you richer beyond your wildest dreams. It is simply what we are on this earth to do and I fear we are getting far away from that as a whole.