Juggling Act

Boy, can it be tough being a wife, mom and pursuing a full time career. I have always been fairly proficient at multi-tasking and known for my cram-packed schedules. I used to like to plan a bunch of things for one day and try and get them all in. And I used to be very good at this. It wears my husband out and he has been working very hard at changing my ways a bit to keep his sanity. He has been succeeding too, as I have seen the light. I don't have to be all places at all times and all things to all people. As I get older, I am starting understand and value the little free time I have. But free time has taken on a whole new value now that I am a mommy.

I have completely shifted. I am now in the habit of not planning much. I look forward to spending my weekends with my baby and husband. It's hard to get in the quality time I so desire with Max during the weekdays. By the time I get home from work, I have to feed Max, start supper, get Max's supper made, clean up, do dishes, bath Max, get him ready for bed, make the bottle and then sit down to read the nightly stories, feed Max and rock him to sleep. And of course that schedule varies depending on the day and what wrench in thrown in to the schedule. I don't feel like I get enough time to play with Max and find out what he has discovered and learned for the day. And they certainly learn and do new things every day! Needless to say, by the time Friday roles around, I am ready to just decompress from the week and take in my baby. I cherish my Saturday's and Sunday's. To have those full days to hang with Max and Jeff and do family things is more precious than gold. But it's tough because then we have family commitments and we still need to have some sort of social life. The social life is much farther and fewer between.

That is tough sometimes because I miss my friends. The adjustment to just sparse emails and status updates on FB is about all I get these days. I am used to seeing them and getting in some quality time. So this has been a big adjustment. I have yet to find the right balance. I know my friends understand and many of them are probably going through this exact situation or have been there already (since I seem to be such a late bloomer).

And I also miss the quality time that Jeff and I became accustomed to. He is my best friend and we had nothing but time for so long. Now, we are exhausted by weeks end and then the weekends just come and go as fast as they start. I miss just laying in bed on Saturday mornings, in his arms and just talking and laughing. I know that we are closer than ever since the birth of our son, but it's hard to find those moments to just bask in each other's presence.

I guess my feeling is that it is difficult sometimes being all these things and being really good at them. I want to be the best at everything I do, but it just feels like there is never enough time to be all these things. I have definitely noticed that my career is a definite third in this scheme and that is fine by me right now. I always work hard and strive to be the best I can be when I am there, but it is just not my priority right now. I always pray for the wisdom and patience to make all these important things balance out. It is indeed the most challenging but rewarding endeavour I have ever taken on.