Saturday, May 7, 2011
A Mommy Moment
This speaks so deeply to my heart. We need to take the time and make the time to be with our children. Really BE with them. No one ever said that was easy, especially these days where the name of the game is better, faster, first. I stood there and just watched them and it made my heart sing. There is something so amazing about watching a father and son. Max adores his daddy and wants to do everything like him and with him. That is power. Power that should not be trifled with. Power that deserves the utmost respect. Power that is long-lasting, long after you are gone. It was once said by P.D. James, "What a child doesn't receive, he can seldom later give." We all know that to be true. We just say it and feel it in different ways.
Children need unconditional love, time and discipline. The discipline part is VERY hard, but oh SO very necessary to instill respect. Respect is what thrives deep within them and respect is what will come back to them. We shouldn't be so focused on teaching self-esteem, what we should be focused on is self-respect. Self-respect is not self-centered. It does not create a sense of entitlement or ego. Self-respect is something that continues to give to the child, even in times of challenge and adversity. And we know all children will go through things. They must be prepared for that and not coddled and sheltered from it. I think many forget that trials can not be avoided and if handled in the best way, will make you a stronger person with great character and faith. As Victor Hugo stated: "Joy's smile is much more close to tears than it is to laughter." This is the balance of life.
It is impossible to feel true joy and happiness at their heights if you have never experience the polar opposite emotions at their depths. Trials, adversity, challenges, problem-solving, hurt feelings, not winning all the time; these are the situations that form children into the adults they will become. The kind of people that you want to be around or keep in your company. The kind of people that give to the world. The kind of people who work hard and respect people, the earth and things around them. The kind of people that don't take simple pleasures for granted. The kind of people that are thankful for their jobs/careers and give their all to it, not expecting that the job/employer owes them. The kind of people who cherish their elders and heed their words, as they know the experiences they have had in life. The kind of people who can effectively communicate to those around them with listening first and then engaging. The kind of people that would give their parents great joy and pride, no matter what they end up doing in life.
I guess it really is true: what comes around, goes around. Daily life can take it's toll and it's so easy to forget and just surrender to your emotions in the moment. This has caused much angst in my life, as I am a very reactive person. I have never had the gift of taking a deep breath and logically thinking about the situation before responding. You might say, I suffer from verbal diarrhea often. But I try to renew my mind every day with the Lord so that I can remember to have patience and wisdom to deal with all that comes my way for that day. Every day is a new day and thank goodness children are so forgiving. All they really want is your guidance and love. Both of these things take time. I am learning to give it every day.